Escape to Paradise: Miami Gardens' Hottest Inn & Suites Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Miami Gardens - Is it REALLY Paradise? Let's Dive In! (Brace Yourself!)
Okay, folks, let's be real. "Paradise" is a BIG word. And Miami Gardens? Well, it's not exactly the Maldives. But, "Escape to Paradise: Miami Gardens' Hottest Inn & Suites Awaits!"… sounds intriguing, right? I took the plunge, and let me tell you, it was a journey. Buckle up, because this ain't your typical, perfectly-polished review.
First Impressions: Arrival and Accessibility (or Lack Thereof, Mostly) - Ugh, Stairs!
Right off the bat, let's talk accessibility. Because, and I'm gonna say this loudly, it's a mixed bag. Wheelchair accessible? Yikes. While they say they have facilities for disabled guests, I didn't see a ramp to the front door. Actual elevators are a win! And, yes, there is a handicap parking space! The real kicker? They have a 24-hour front desk which is great, but you know what isn't great? The fact that the building, while nice and modern, can be a bit of a maze. I swear, I almost ended up in the laundry room looking for the ice machine. I had to call. Ugh.
Getting Connected (and Staying THAT Way): Internet - Praise The WiFi Gods!
Okay, positive vibes! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! FINALLY! I mean, it's 2024 people. If a hotel doesn't have decent internet, it's a dealbreaker. And yes, they do offer Internet access through LAN, but I mean…who even uses that anymore? The Wi-Fi in public areas was also pretty solid. No buffering during my late-night (cough) research.
The Room: Sanctuary…or Just a Room? - The Blackout Curtains & My Sanity
My room? Let's just say it was… functional. It had air conditioning, which is a MUST in Florida. A desk, which was handy for pretending to work (shhh!). Blackout curtains! GAME CHANGER! Honestly? They were a life-saver. I could SLEEP. And for someone who usually is up at 3 am is a miracle. The bed? Comfy enough. Not cloud-nine, but definitely sleepworthy. There was a mini bar which I, of course, forgot to raid, a refrigerator which I actually used for orange juice, and a safe box which I didn't bother with. A coffee/tea maker? Yes, thank the heavens! A life saver. The basic toiletries were there, but nothing special, but who needs a fancy bathbomb when you are travelling on a budget!
Cleanliness and Safety: Sanitizing, Sanitizing Everywhere! - Germaphobe Approved (Almost)
The pandemic has changed us all, and Escape to Paradise gets it. I was impressed with their commitment to cleanliness. Anti-viral cleaning products, room sanitization between stays, daily disinfection in common areas – okay, they went all-in. They also have hand sanitizer everywhere, and staff trained in safety protocol. They have a doctor/nurse on call. I didn't need it, but it's reassuring! I didn't feel unsafe, which is a HUGE plus.
Dining, Drinking, Snacking: Is it a Paradise for Foodies? - The Asian Breakfast!
Alright, the food. This is where things get a little… interesting. They offer Asian cuisine in restaurant, and a Western breakfast. There's a breakfast buffet. I went for the Asian breakfast… mostly out of curiosity. Let's just say it was an experience. It wasn't exactly Michelin-star, but it was… unique? They have a coffee shop with the basic coffee which is an actual lifesaver. They have a poolside bar! I didn't hit that one, but the pool looked inviting (more on that later).
Things To Do: Relaxing & Unwinding - Poolside Bliss, and Beyond
The swimming pool was the highlight. Seriously. Beautiful and well-maintained. A true oasis. There is a Pool with a view but you have to work for it, and by that I mean, you get the sunrise with it. But they have a sauna and steamroom which is great! It has a fitness center, so that gets you to burn out some steam. They offered massage and spa services, but I skipped them. They also have Things to do at the hotel, but it really depends on your interest.
The Extras: Services and Conveniences – Everything You Need (and Some You Don't)
Okay, the "extras." 24-hour front desk, daily housekeeping, laundry service, currency exchange, cash withdrawal – they've got the basics covered. There’s a gift/souvenir shop and if you are lucky enough you might hit the Happy hour!
Bottom Line: Escape to Paradise? Maybe… With a Few Asterisks!
So, is it "Paradise?" Well, no. But if you're looking for a clean, comfortable, and convenient hotel in Miami Gardens, Escape to Paradise is a solid choice. The pool is a major selling point and the commitment to cleanliness is comforting.
Here's the Deal – A Steal of an Offer
Book your stay at Escape to Paradise today and get:
- A FREE upgrade to a room with a beautiful view of Miami.
- A complimentary breakfast
- 1 hour full access to the sauna and steamroom.
This offer won't last forever! Book NOW and experience the BEST stay!
The Final Verdict
I'd stay again, sure. I just wouldn't expect to see angels singing. But the pool… the pool might just be worth the price of admission. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a nap!
Seminyak Paradise: Your Private Pool Villa Awaits!
Okay, here we go. Brace yourselves, because this Miami Gardens Inn & Suites itinerary is about to get… real. And by real, I mean probably a little bit chaotic. Don't expect a slick, bullet-pointed masterpiece. This is more like a diary entry scrawled on a napkin, fueled by lukewarm coffee and the lingering scent of questionable motel air freshener.
Miami Gardens Inn & Suites: Operation “Sunshine State… or Bust” – A Travel Itinerary (That Probably Won’t Go to Plan)
Day 1: Arrival, Mild Panic, and the Mystery of the Continental Breakfast
- 7:00 AM (ish): Wake up. Or, more accurately, claw my way out of the crumpled paper that is my bed in my (still slightly messy) apartment, and face the pre-travel dread. Why did I think this was a good idea? Florida. In July. I should be committed.
- 8:00 AM: Arrive at the airport. Traffic was a nightmare. Already two hours behind schedule thanks to Ubers and traffic, and an overpacked suitcase that refused to be zipped. Airport coffee: the first act of desperation.
- 12:00 PM (ish): TOUCH DOWN, MIAMI! The air hits me like a damp, warm blanket. Sort of the kind of blanket you'd find in a budget motel during the off-season. Already sweating. Uber to the Miami Gardens Inn & Suites – a journey involving a driver who seemed to use his horn more as a musical instrument than a traffic signal.
- 1:30 PM: Check-in. The front desk clerk's name is… well, I don't remember. But she was wearing an official shirt. My room? Smells faintly of chlorine and silent disappointment. But hey, AC works! That's a win. Unpack (or, more accurately, attempt to organize my suitcase – it's basically a clothes grenade).
- 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: The Continental Breakfast Predicament. This deserves its own section. I'm talking… deep dive into the breakfast buffet. I'm on a quest: a quest for something edible. The promised "continental breakfast" – a phrase laden with false promise – is a battlefield of stale bagels, suspiciously yellow scrambled eggs, and a waffle maker that looks like it hasn't been cleaned since the Clinton administration. Coffee? Thin, weak, and likely older than I am. The yogurt tastes vaguely of sadness. I bravely choose a bagel. Toast it to a crisp, smother it with what I think is cream cheese. Survive. Barely. Seriously, though. Why do hotels insist on these abysmal breakfasts? It's an insult to the human stomach. I was on a mission. I made it though…
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Poolside… contemplation? The pool is small, chlorinated, and surrounded by sunbathers who seem to have mastered the art of eternal tanning. I attempt to relax, but the sheer intensity of the sun is almost too much. The shade is a sought after commodity. I consider actually swimming. The thought is mildly terrifying. Contemplate the meaning of life while simultaneously battling the urge to order a plastic cup of something cold.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a local diner. The air conditioning is a blessing, and I order a burger that is somehow simultaneously too charred and undercooked. The waitress is a human embodiment of sunshine, and her advice on local events is a lifesaver.
- 7:30 PM: Evening stroll. The heat is still a monster. My first encounter with Mosquitoes. The air is thick with the scent of something floral, mixed with the faint aroma of garbage. I walk because I'm trapped inside my own mind.
- 9:00 PM: Crash in bed. The AC drones like a mechanical lullaby. Pray for a decent night's sleep, and that the bed doesn't try to swallow me whole.
Day 2: Beach Day, Beach Woes, and Unexpected Epiphanies (Maybe?)
- 8:00 AM (ish): Wake up feeling, well… alive! The promise of the beach is like a siren song. Forget the breakfast. I just take a banana from my carry-on bag and head out for a quick bite.
- 9:00 AM: Drive to a nearby beach. I'm picturing turquoise water, white sand, and effortless relaxation. The reality? Parking is a nightmare. I park like a maniac, then hike across the parking lot like I'm on a desert adventure.
- 10:00 AM - 1:00 PM: Beach time. This is it, the moment I've been waiting for. The ocean is magnificent, the sand is surprisingly clean, and the sun… well, the sun is unrelenting. I get a decent spot, set up shop, and bask in the glow of the sun for a little bit. Then I realize I didn't apply enough sunscreen. Burn incoming! I spend the rest of the morning alternating between frantically reapplying sunscreen and dodging rogue volleyballs.
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Lunch. A greasy, overpriced hot dog from a beachside vendor: a classic. I eat it anyway. Regret it almost instantly.
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: The Great Shell Hunt. Now, I'm an adult, but I love collecting seashells. So, I venture out to find some beauties. I scour the shoreline, my eyes glued to the sand, my heart filled with the pure joy of the hunt. Then I find it. A perfect, pearly conch. But I drop it. It shatters into a million pieces. I'm inconsolable. I spend the next hour wallowing in shell-related grief.
- 4:00 PM: Head back to the hotel. Sunburn is setting in. My shoulders throb, and I'm pretty sure my hair is now permanently fused to my scalp.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at any restaurant that has air conditioning. Because, yes. Also, pizza. Pizza is always the answer. Order a whole pizza. Eat the entire thing, and consider a second. It's amazing.
- 7:30 PM: A random TV show. The TV is a relic, but it works. Watch random shows.
Day 3: The "Whatever Happens, Happens" Day
- 8:00 AM: I will sleep in, dammit!
- Whatever happens, happens. I am going to throw myself into the unknown and probably make terrible decisions.
- 4:00 PM: Back to the airport, I have a flight!
Final Thoughts (or, Notes Scribbled in the Margins of My Sanity)
- The Miami Gardens Inn & Suites is… well, it's a place. It has a bed and AC. I'm alive. And that's all that really matters, right?
- Florida in July is a beautiful, scorching, sweaty, slightly insane adventure. Embrace the chaos. Drink water. Reapply sunscreen. And never, ever trust the continental breakfast.
- Also, I need to buy a better umbrella.
- Maybe next time I'll stay in an airbnb…
- I need to go back home soon.
This is not a perfect itinerary. It’s messy. It’s honest. It’s human. And if some of it resonates, well, then you, my friend, are a fellow traveler in the beautiful, messy, and occasionally terrifying adventure that is life. Now, where did I leave my chapstick?
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Escape to Paradise: Miami Gardens - Seriously, Is It Paradise? Let's Find Out... FAQs
Okay, "Hottest Inn & Suites"? REALLY? What's the deal, is it actually... hot? Like, temperature hot? Or... trendy hot?
Alright, let's address the elephant in the (probably air-conditioned) room. "Hottest" is a bold claim, isn't it? I went in expecting, like, a sauna-level experience. Nope. More like... "pleasant" temperature, mostly. They DO have a pool, which is good for cooling off from the Miami heat, and trust me, you'll need it. The "hottest" aspect? Mostly, I think, is the *idea* of Miami. Miami is hot, right? So... the hotel is adjacent to Miami. See how I’m getting lost on this? Yeah… they probably put that in the tagline because "Mildly-Charming Inn Near a Really Big City" wouldn't exactly sell rooms.
What's the parking situation like? Because I heard Miami parking is a nightmare. Is this place going to make me lose my mind before I even *get* to relaxing by the pool?
Oh, honey, the parking… *deep sigh*. Look, it's not *terrible*. But it's not exactly a breeze either. There's a lot, yeah. But it fills up. We got there late one night, and I swear, I circled like a vulture for a solid 10 minutes before snagging a spot. (My partner was getting hangry, which is never a good look, especially in the already-humid Florida climate.) The good news? It’s free! Which, in that part of Miami, is practically a miracle. The bad news? Prepare for the potential circling game of parking roulette. My advice? Go early, go often, and have the patience of a saint (and maybe a bag of chips to appease a hangry partner). Seriously, the whole "parking" thing seriously affected my pre-vacation mood.
What’s the pool like? Because the pictures always lie. Do they actually have those cute little umbrellas?
The pool… okay, here’s the truth. The pool is… fine. The pictures, miraculously, weren’t *too* deceiving. It's a decent size, clean-ish (saw a tiny leaf or two – not a dealbreaker). And yes, they do have those cute little umbrellas (hallelujah!). Ah, but those umbrellas! The *problem* with those umbrellas...is that they are very…popular. Very. Like, you gotta be lightning fast to snag one. On day one, I missed out. I was *devastated*. I’m not kidding! I sulked. I even considered staging a fake illness to guilt someone into giving up their prime umbrella real estate. (I didn’t do it, but the thought process was there). Day two? Woke up early, practically sprinted to the pool with my sunhat clutched in my sweaty hand, and claimed my umbrella turf like a seasoned pro. Victory! Poolside bliss commenced. I'd recommend it!
Is there a continental breakfast? Because I’m not trying to leave the hotel hungry. Also, coffee? I require coffee.
Continental breakfast: YES. Coffee: Double yes! The breakfast situation? Standard hotel fare. Bagels, muffins, some sad-looking fruit. Cereal. The usual. It's not gourmet, but hey, it’s *free*. And the coffee? Drinkable. I needed it. We had a late night. The bagels weren't the best I've had. They kind of tasted of cardboard, if I'm being honest. But I slathered mine in enough cream cheese that it was passable. And the coffee? Black, strong, and essential. The lifeblood of any vacation (or, you know, surviving a Monday). So, expect basic, but expect enough to kickstart your day. Remember: free is good!
What about the rooms? Are they clean? I’m a bit of a clean freak, and I don’t want to spend my vacation fretting over dust bunnies.
The rooms… clean-ish. I wouldn't scrutinize every corner with a magnifying glass, but they were generally tidy. No obvious horrors. The bed? Comfy enough. The bathroom? Functional. I did *think* I saw a tiny hair on the bathroom counter once. Okay, maybe twice. But I'm a *very* casual clean freak. Also, I'm a bit blind. I just tried to forget about it. Honestly, the room was clean *enough*. The biggest issue was probably the noise. I could hear everything from the hallway. But hey, I wasn't there to judge the housekeeping practices, I was there to relax.. It depends on what sort of clean you're looking for!
Is the location convenient? Near anything interesting? Or am I condemned to driving everywhere?
Location, location, location! Okay, listen. You’re *technically* in Miami Gardens. It's not *right* on South Beach. You’re gonna drive. A lot. But it's fairly easy to get to the highway. You're kinda in the middle, which means you can get to different parts of Miami. You need a car. There are some restaurants and businesses nearby, walking distance, but honestly, a car is essential to explore Miami. Consider this a launchpad, not a destination. You’re close enough to some things, and far enough to get a bit of peace and quiet. Is that a good thing? Well, it depends on your definition of paradise, doesn't it? For me, a little driving is okay, but if you're looking for, like, a beachfront experience? This isn't *that*.
What's the Wi-Fi like? Actually, can I even *survive* without Wi-Fi? I'm serious.
The Wi-Fi…okay, it's there. Whether it's *good* or not is a whole other story. It worked. Most of the time. Sometimes, it went on strike. Like it would just randomly decide to take a break, right in the middle of you scrolling through social media. (The horror!) For me, the "surviving without Wi-Fi" thing? Tough. I *need* to check work emails. I *need* to post pictures of my breakfast bagel. I *need* to see what everyone else is doing. (Okay, maybe the last one is a problem). So, pack your patience. Or, you know, buy a data plan. Just be prepared for potential Wi-Fi hiccups. Seriously. Have a backup plan for checking Twitter. You've been warned.
Is it kid-friendly? I have, like, a flock of miniature humans to consider.
